Sometimes it feels like I can never catch a break. Something happened this last week which feels like a bomb has gone off. It’s hurtful, uncomfortable, and makes me feel physically ill. I haven’t been able to sleep since I found out.
Everyone will find out soon as it has to do with Kenneth Village where Yoga-urt is.
I try to be very candid on this blog but I am also very aware that anyone can read it. So I know I have to watch my words sometimes and hold back a bit as to not cause unwanted conflict. I wish that wasn’t the case as I want to let it all out, but I also don’t want to make things worse for me.
With that being said, this one hurts and I didn’t see it coming. And the hurt is probably only going to get worse. I am angry, but even worse, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut.
I’m having a hard time dealing with this and it’s only been 5 days, with so many more to go.
So what do you do when you don’t have the power to change something that will negatively affect you? I honestly don’t know the exact answer to this so if you know, please share with me. I need all the tools I can get.
But I guess this is when I need to get spiritual. I’ve been a bit out of touch with my spiritual side the last few years as I’ve been a machine juggling my full time job and Yoga-urt. I used to read books, go to workshops, connect with people on a deeper level – but there has been no time for any of that.
I’m also trying to remind myself to focus on what I’m grateful for because there are so many things to be grateful for. They are hard to see this very moment, but they are there. I also think about what is going on in Houston, and then realize my problems are really minor compared to the suffering going on.
But this is going to be hard for me and it feels like one hard thing after another. And yes, big picture, things are going well but OMG, I’m so sick of dealing with one crappy thing after another.
I have to believe deep in my soul that these 6 years of committing myself fully to Yoga-urt, while carrying the better part of this journey on my own, has given birth to something that can’t be destroyed. Something that is magical and meant to be. Something that is loved by more than just me. Something that makes people feel good which was my original intention.
I have to have trust in the Universe that all will work itself out.
Today, it feels like a bomb went off. I hope that very soon, things settle and I can be at peace again.