I felt like crying one day this week. 

One of my employee’s texted me that she wasn’t feeling well and might not be able to come in for her closing shift. This is after 3 other employees called in sick over the last 2 weeks, and it was mostly me that had to cover for them. It was also after I worked 15 days in a row between Yoga-urt and my day job. 

It’s just too much and I felt like crying.

I’ve been working 70-80 hours a week for a year and a half now, between Yoga-urt and my day job, both extremely demanding with lots of responsibility.

My life is so out of balance, and the last few weeks, I’ve been questioning what I got myself into.  

For a very long time now, my life has been work, work, work. I barely see friends & family and have somewhat isolated myself because I’m either working or I’m so exhausted I don’t want to go out. I don’t know how to just relax anymore. I don’t know how to not work.

If I didn’t have Yoga-urt, I could actually go on some nice trips, go shopping (which I haven’t done since Yoga-urt madness began and I need new clothes!), see movies, maybe date more, take lots of yoga classes, have my weekends to be free, etc. 

But instead, the life I have right now is constantly dealing with problems from all sides. My title should be problem solver. Just when I think everything is okay for the moment, someone calls in sick or something breaks or a customer is upset, I have a deadline at work, or we run out of something, and the list goes on and on. It’s never ending.

So yes, it’s f**king hard and I’m tired and lonely and completely out of balance. 

So how do I get more balanced? To be honest, I don’t see it in my immediate future. They say starting your own business is hard and takes a lot of your time, and boy were they right. Then add in my demanding full-time job and it’s over the top.

But, I also know that this is the time for me to put in the work. I wouldn’t trade Yoga-urt for anything. 

I wasn’t even sure I should share all of this on my blog for the world to see, but I’ve chosen to share my journey and to try to dare greatly (which includes being vulnerable, thanks Brene Brown), so I decided it was okay.

Not sure how to fix the situation I’m in except to take 1 day at a time and do the best I can to take care of myself. To sleep. To exercise. And have fun. I need to have more fun.